You guys, I am at the end of my rope. The past five weeks have been the most challenging of my life. My patience is gone, my attitude is bad, and it’s all I can do to just make it through each day without crying.
When I first arrived here in my new city, I was pretty gung ho. I spent my days emailing possible work connections, hiking with the dogs, and exploring all the areas of Oakland. Then I got sick. Really sick. I was pretty much laid up for 2 weeks and everything started to go downhill from there.
Current status: discouraged, lonely, frustrated, annoyed, and depressed.
Yesterday a friend from San Diego texted me to see how things were going. I can’t tell you how nice it was to have a little human interaction even if it was just a text. In her classic, positive attitude nature, she listened to my complaints and then said “what’s your favorite thing about your new city so far?” That question was like someone shaking me and yelling “Snap out of it!”
First off, I’m so grateful for sympathetic and tactful friends who know how to remind me of what’s important without being judgmental. Secondly, despite all our setbacks with trying to move into our new house, I realize that I am very lucky to even be able to purchase a home, to have a temporary roof over our head while I wait, and to have access to all the modern conveniences we all take for granted, even if it’s not exactly how I would have chosen things to be.
This whole experience has really made me take a good look at myself. It’s been a long, emotional year of uncertainty and challenges. I feel like I am infinitely more self aware than I ever have been, and I still believe that the pendulum swings equally in both directions, so there are good things to come.
I’ll be fine.
I know this Great List is a little off tone from normal, but I’ve realized that without some sort of creative outlet I start to lose my mind. Since I can’t cook or paint, writing is all I’ve got, so I just wanted to get it out so I can let it go. Thanks for understanding!