I have survived another blustery spring trip to the midwest. The Hubs and I got home last night, much later than expected, due to a 4 hour flight delay. Our plane got re-routed to Indianapolis, so we saw a bit more of Midway airport than we had planned. We were just thankful that we weren’t the people who were stuck on the re-routed plane!
I wish I could say that I am rejuvenated and full of inspiration as I had hoped, however, the trip actually was a bit bittersweet for me. Part of the purpose of the trip was to help my parents pack and move some of my Grandma’s belongings in order to get her house ready to sell. (She lived directly next door to my parents house) I thought going to her house for the first time since she passed away would be sad and nostalgic. I guess in my mind I pictured everything as it was, completely unchanged. What I found was a disarray of crowded countertops, empty cabinets, boxes and half missing furniture. Instead of sitting quietly, reflecting and reminiscing, as I had envisioned, it was more like a flea market. “Do you want this? Do you want this? Take whatever you want.” I almost didn’t want to take anything because it seemed so shallow, or something, I’m not really sure how to explain it. In the end, I did take a few things, and figure I’ll see them in my own home and will be able to honor her memory on my own time. I’m sure by the time I return, the house will be sold and new neighbors will be living there, which is kind of a depressing thought in and of itself. I know “life goes on”, but I guess it’s “going on” a little faster than I’m ready for.
Another thing that trips me up every time I go to my hometown, is the way it seems locked in time to me. Sure, new buildings pop up all the time, stores close, new businesses open, people get older, but the essence never changes. It doesn’t really help that pretty much all of the people I grew up with still live there, as well as the majority of my family. I guess its not really a bad thing. I love being able to make one trip and see my three best friends, their families, two of my brothers and their families, and my parents. Not to mention I usually run into dozens of old friends from high school, and others from my past, like my Girl Scout troop leader or an old high school teacher. This life just doesn’t inspire me. That’s why I left I suppose. I can’t really explain why, but in a way, it makes me sad. The constant gray weather did not help either.
On a happier note, all around there were glimmers of beauty. One thing we don’t see in SoCal is the stark contrast of bright spring flowers popping up through the gray and barren ground. I am truly moved by the sight of bright yellow forsythia bushes and fat, pink magnolia blooms against an otherwise drab backdrop. Sights like these are what make me stop and evaluate what’s important in my life. Today, while driving around warm and sunny San Diego, I was able to reflect on these impressions, and feel grateful for the choices I have made in my life that have led me on a truly great and inspirational path. Its not just the fabulous weather and the beach, something about living here in San Diego truly touches my soul. I have never been happier about the choice I made to move here. Overall, I had a good trip. I’m always happy to see the people in my life that I love. I’m also happy that although it took me until I got back, I still managed a little bit of clarity and perspective in what has been a very tedious time in my life lately.