I realize that I’m a pretty sensitive person in general, but the emotional roller coaster I’m currently on is moving at light speed. The end of my time in San Diego is near, and reality is starting to set in. With every goodbye I feel sadness, excitement, apprehension, and uncertainty. It’s only going to get worse as moving day nears, so I’m doing my best to just stay focused on the things that I’m grateful for, and not let the things I’m scared of take over my mind. Here’s what I’m holding on to this week.
1.Work has been going better than ever lately. Beyond the cookbook I styled over the holidays, I also shot a national commercial last week, and have booked several long-term contract jobs this week (a freelancers dream). Plus, I received a ton of payments for work I’ve done over the last couple of months. (It’s no Powerball win, but I’ll take it!) One huge fear I’ve had about moving is losing my network of contacts I’ve built up over many years, and having zero income, but so far this hasn’t been an issue.
2. I hosted my final Collaborative Thread event this week. I’m truly devastated to have to walk away from this incredible organization. The women I’ve met through this group have enriched my life in ways I can’t even begin to describe. I received so many awesome well wishes and pep talks from people at the event, which is what I really need right at this moment. I’m so grateful that I had this chance to say goodbye and pass the torch to a wonderful friend whom I know will continue to connect, support and inspired the creative community in San Diego for years to come.
3. This week I’m especially grateful for my dogs. Even though they drive me totally insane at times, I don’t know what I would do without them. Life has been extra hard, extra challenging, extra emotional lately, and with The Hubs gone, I’m feeling very overwhelmed and alone. If I didn’t have my dogs, I’m pretty sure I would have completely lost it by now. Even though they wake me up in the middle of the night, sit and beg while i’m eating and squeak toys constantly, their unconditional love has been priceless to me.
4. I had the chance to say goodbye in person to my brother, sister in law, niece and their dogs this week, as well some blogging friends of mine who have been super supportive through all of this. Goodbyes are hard, but I’d rather say goodbye than walk away without saying anything. I’m grateful for the extra time I have to wrap up all these loose ends.
In all honesty, I might be a little quiet on the blog for a while. My brain is totally scattered, my emotions have me beat down, and I’m completely depleted. I don’t like to use this space to vent negativity, so if I can’t muster up the imagination or excitement to post something I love, I might just not. I can’t say how I’m going to be feeling tomorrow, next week, or even a month from now, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up. I’m grateful in advance for your understanding and continued support.
Cheers to a restful weekend.