It’s pretty easy to count the great things going on in a week when nothing truly bad happens. Its a whole different perspective when faced with loss and heartache. Just a week ago, I was thinking to myself, “this is the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life,” and now I’m a total wreck. Even though I’m soaked in grief, I have to remember that the bad times do not erase the good, and all that happiness is just hidden behind a veil of tears. Its not gone. It’s going to take a bit of work to see it again, but let’s start with some baby steps.
1. As someone who has lived with depression for most of my life, I understand the physical pain that extreme emotional distress can cause. I felt it this week. The headaches, stomach pain, the inability to focus, and the loss of desire to do anything more than get out of bed. Even that was a stretch at points. The great part was, as I was going through this, I was able to think to myself, “wow. I haven’t felt like this in a while.” Its a wonderful thing to be able to have this kind of perspective. Pain and emotions that used to be something I lived with everyday, have been a distant memory for a long time.
2. Sunshine. There is nothing I love more in the world than warm sun on my face. The day we lost Grace, The Hubs and I went to a park and sat on a bench. We looked out over the ocean and bay. The sun warmed us, and every time the breeze blew, we were showered in bright purple jacaranda flowers. No one talked, but in that moment, it seemed like the universe was was trying to comfort us with its warm rays. It kind of worked.
3. When The Hubs Grandpa died, I comforted him. When my Grandma died, he held me together. This time, there was no one to be the rock. We leaned on each other, and I could almost see our relationship grow stronger before my eyes. Tragedy really has a way of showing you the important things in life.
Ok, that’s all I’ve got for this week. Just a few great points, but ones I think are the most important I’ve posted about in a while. A lesson: when life seems the worst, its often when you’re getting the greatest long term benefit. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. There are ALWAYS great things happening. You just have to look for them. Now, with all that being said, PLEASE tell me the great things going on with you guys. I could use some extra joy in my life this week!